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    Back to Square One

    Another lesson learned the hard way. Remember that guy I told you about last week? The one I felt a connection with—the one that I had let my guard down with just a little…well that crashed and burned before it even got off the ground. I was out with a girlfriend having dinner the other night. Towards the end of our dinner, I mentioned that I was dating someone and starting to tell her about him and the great sex we had. Her eyes widened and jaw dropped, “Why are you just mentioning this now?!” she yelled. She insisted we pay the check and relocate to have another drink, so…

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    Owning Your Sexuality

    The title got your attention, didn’t it? Let’s talk about sex, making love, getting it in, doing the dirty, getting laid, the horizontal mambo, intercourse, getting a piece of ass, fuck buddies, gettin’ busy… whichever of the hundreds of euphemisms you prefer. We’re going to go deep (pun intended) and talk about sex for women in their forties. Now, let me preface this by letting you know that I am a recovering Irish Catholic and I was raised to think sex was a sin that would send me straight to hell. I’ve had a lifetime of brainwashing telling me that “good girls” don’t have sex before marriage and even when…

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    Then versus Now

    In my quest to find the love of my life, my soulmate, my person, the man of my dreams, if you will, I can’t help but reminisce about the good old days. Remember when dating consisted of seeing a cute guy across the room at the roller skating rink and all you had to do was look over his way and give him a quick glance to show him you were interested? Remember the guy hanging out at the movie theater arcade that you wanted to talk to and after an hour to work up the nerve, he came up to you and asked for your number? You had to…

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    The Journey

    As I look back at my journey through this thing called life, I can finally take a step back from my experiences and be grateful for the lessons instead of clinging onto the pain and disappointment. I’m finally at a place where I can look at my divorce, losing my job, my financial troubles, my weight gain and the endless string of bad experiences with the dating world as the equivalent of a doctorate in the study of myself. This past January, I made a conscious decision to move forward and “fix my life”. What I discovered was that I didn’t really fix anything other than my mindset.  Yes, I…

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    Finding Your Freedom

    Waking up alone in my bed has become the norm. I have a choice. I could wake up feeling lonely and depressed or I could wake up being grateful for the freedom to start my day any damn way I choose. I choose the latter. Every day you are faced with the choice. The choice to wallow in self-pity or bath in gratitude. We often romanticize being in a relationship and forget just how miserable we actually were being with that person. I don’t know about you, but I rarely see a married couple that is truly happy all the time. In reality, you spend 80% of the time completely…

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    Shopping for Men

    I recently had a moment of weakness as I sat in bed one evening with a glass of wine browsing endlessly for a new pair of spring sandals on the DSW app. Instead of shopping for shoes I went against my better judgement and downloaded a new dating app. I know, I know…I said I would never subject myself to the horrors on online dating again, but I heard from a friend of a friend that they met a great guy on Zoosk. Probably the exception to the rule that someone found love online, but I thought, “What’s the harm in looking?” So, I uploaded a few pictures and wrote…

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    Spring is Here!

    Ahhh Spring—the birds are chirping the sun is shining and love is in the air…unless you live in New England that is. Mother Nature seems to be on her period and wanting everyone to suffer with this cold miserable weather. My Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.) is in full effect when my “Spring Break” is living in 30-degree weather. Moving to Cali is looking more and more plausible. Despite the fact that Mother Nature is acting more like Mommy Dearest, I feel the anticipation of spring weather and all that it brings. It is a magical time of year. It’s a time for renewal and a time of hope. That’s what…

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    Time Heals

    People often ask the question of how long will it take for the pain to go away after your heart is broken and the answer is never definitive. For some, it can take a few months and for others it can take a lifetime. Everyone’s pain is unique and coping mechanisms are ingrained deep within your subconscious. For some people it may seem like they move on quickly and fall in love again effortlessly. For others the pain seems to linger and they close themselves off in a protective shell hiding away from vulnerability. Neither one is right or wrong, yet neither approach gets to the place of truly healing.…

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    Coming Out of the Darkness

    There are many times throughout the process of divorce that you will emerge from the darkness. The darkness can feel like you’re lost–where everything feels like a weight that surrounds you, holding your feet to the ground with no path showing you how to get out of the dark. You stay there paralyzed in fear. Frightened of the unknown. You’re alone and afraid and no one can help you out…except you. The darkness is insidious and it creeps in like the mist until it has you surrounded in a fog of despair. The darkness comes when you realize the person you’re with is not who you thought they were. Your…

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    Knowing When to Walk Away

    Making the decision to leave your marriage or relationship can seem like an impossible choice. Knowing when or how you’re going to walk away can take months sometimes years. Sometimes it isn’t your decision at all and your partner makes it for you. Neither scenario is an easy one, but it can be the best thing that you ever did. For me, it took over three years to work up the courage to leave my marriage. I knew the marriage had dissolved and I knew I wanted to leave long before I spoke the words. It was the most frightening thing I had ever done and the anxiety was overwhelming.…