Needless to say, this Coronavirus has put a little damper on my dating life. Not that it was great before a world pandemic caused us to isolate ourselves for weeks…maybe months but at least I could entertain the notion of finding my one true love. Now I’m faced with the sobering thought of possibly being alone through this period of quarantine. (I use the term “sober” loosely, of course, it is not something I will be practicing at this time).
I don’t know what’s worse being a mom with young kids stuck at home or being alone with your thoughts of loneness and despair? I’ll take the latter—for sure. Although being alone right now can be challenging for an extrovert like me, I’m using it as an opportunity to read all the half-read books on my shelves, exercise more, listen to music, deep clean my house, work on my book and figure out what I want to do with my life. I think this is Mother Nature’s way of forcing us to hit the pause button and re-evaluate our lives. It’s forcing us to slow down and self-reflect; to truly understand what is most important to us. Yes, I miss seeing my friends and family but I’m also enjoying not having anything to do that distracts me from my goals. Well, except for Netflix. Netflix without the Chill is my biggest distraction right now.
For those of you that are struggling right now with feeling alone or isolated know that it is not about the lack of having people who love and care about you—it’s the resistance you have to being okay with being alone with your thoughts. I might have a passing thought of wishing I had someone to cuddle up with at night but I’m reminded of how annoyed all my married friends are with their spouses right now and I’m suddenly okay with being on my own. It’s important to remember the reality of being with someone versus the fantasy . Honestly, would any of you choose to be quarantined with your ex right now? That’s a hell no for me! In fact, I’m so glad I’m not with any of my “exes” because I know I made the right choice not to have them in my life.
I’m also glad I didn’t meet the man of my dreams in the last few months. Can you imagine the pressure a pandemic has on your relationship? This shit has everyone feeling some sort of way. It’s often hard to put your finger on it.
You see two different extremes—you either think the world is coming to an end and Will Smith’s inoculation will have everyone turning into brain-eating Darkseeker’s and you’re hoarding toilette paper or you’re gonna go out partying hard down at the beach swapping spit with the Spring breaker’s. Either way, you’re missing the whole point of this wake-up call.
You see, the wakeup call is here to show us something about humanity and our place in the world. If you’re not using this precious time we’ve been given to pursue your dreams and reassess your life then quite frankly, you’re wasting it. We need to think outside the box and dig deep into what we want to manifest in our lives. Personally, I want to be a best-selling author and have my story turned into a series on Netflix or HBO. Well, that’s not going to happen if I sit on my ass all day watching Netflix, now is it?
Do yourself a favor and stop wallowing in loneliness and self-pity or numbing yourself with TV and alcohol and ask yourself three important questions:
Who am I?
What brings me joy?
What do I want to do for the rest of my life?
If you haven’t already asked yourself these questions it’s because you may be content with the status quo and that’s okay. For those of you that are scared of the answer—do it anyway. Pushing past the fear is what allows you to grow. I had a colleague read a quote the other day. I’m paraphrasing but the gist of it said;
If a year from now you are in the same job earning the same money and living the same life…will you be happy?
If the answer is “no” then what are you going to do to change it? Use this time to be still and start visualizing what you’d like to manifest in your life. Really feel it and what that something will make you feel like if you had it in just a year’s time. If it’s a new partner, then great. How will that person make you feel? Loved and cherished? Safe and protected? Full of laughter and adventure? Maybe a combination of everything?
If you were recently heartbroken or with someone that doesn’t make you feel those things—do you want to still be with them a year from now?
If you hate your job or it doesn’t fulfill you—do you want to be in the same dead-end job a year from now?
Not to sound all “woo woo” or anything but the world is shifting. Don’t you feel it? Now is the time to make the changes you were too scared or tired to make happen before. If not now—when? It starts with you. Whether is getting healthier or cutting toxic people out of your life or reaching out to people you love. Whatever small steps you can make happen today will help you move in the right direction. Take those steps so that a year from now you can look back and see how far you’ve come.
My PSA for the day is this; continue to be healthy and practice social distancing but don’t waste this precious time we’ve been given sitting on your couch drinking beers and binging on stupid tv shows. Get up and do something to change your damn life if you’re unhappy. If you’re feeling sad or lonely pick up the phone and call someone. If you feel bored, get out in nature and take a long walk. We have more time for self-care so start doing things that make you feel good.
Making deeper connections is what this is all about my friends. Maybe my dating life will be better after all this blows over. Maybe people will have a better understanding of what life is all about. Perhaps men will want to connect on a deeper level and women will want more for themselves. Perhaps women will be less superficial about who they date and let the nice guy win for a change. I mean miracles do happen…
This may redefine dating forever and the real “social distancing” that happens on dating sites every day will turn into virtual dating with more meaning. Now, does anyone know someone that can help me build an algorithm for this new dating site idea? Hit me up!