I just got back from my annual girls trip and as I’m relaxing on a beautiful beach looking out at the waves lapping onto the shore, I noticed that instead of taking in the moment and appreciating the fact that I’m finally on the vacation I’ve been looking forward to for months, I’m in my head worrying about all the crap that I left back at home. The checklist of all the things that cause me stress and worry came with me in my suitcase full of sundresses and suntan lotion. Those little voices in my head just took over and the chatter consumed my thoughts…
“What are you going to do with the house?”
“How are you going to find a better paying job?”
“Where are you and the boys going to live…and what about the dog?”
“How are you going to get your book published?”
“Why haven’t more people joined your blog…how are you going to get a bigger following?”
“How are you going to find a man when you’ve gained all this weight?”
“How are you going to get rid of this flab around your waste when you keep sabotaging your diet?”
“Why am I still stuck…what am I doing wrong?”
Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah!!
You know what I’m talking about…those little voices that steal your joy and make you doubt every aspect of your existence. Those little shit heads that never shut the hell up! Then I remember the analogy that Elizabeth Gilbert used in the book that is sitting in my beach bag unfinished and I read it again. She says that she makes space for fear to join her on her journey through life and allows creativity and fear to co-exist. She uses the analogy that she is in the driver’s seat and she will be making all of the decisions. The voices are like little children in the back seat and they can come along for the road trip and share in the adventure, but they can’t make the decisions on where to go or what direction to take…they can’t even touch the radio.
This instantly brings me back to a place of calm and I realize that I can’t run away from my reality and forget about all my troubles, but they don’t have to consume my thoughts. They are there for the time being and they will teach me a great deal about myself, but they will be a distant memory in the near future. They won’t define my entire life, they will only bring me to where I want to be.
Worry and fear live within your mind and if you only listen with your mind you will miss out on the joy and love that lives within your heart.
This relates to overcoming heartbreak as well. After you’ve been hurt and betrayed, those little voices of fear want to keep you safe. They are the little voices that tell you to guard your heart and tell you not to let anyone in because they will hurt you too. The little voices of fear that tell you that opening up to someone isn’t safe. They’re sneaky little devils that tell you you’re not good enough for that person. They whisper in your ear telling you that person couldn’t possibly love you because you’re not skinny enough or young enough or sexy enough. They whisper lies that tell you that person isn’t trust worthy and there must be something wrong with them so that you turn away.
You see, in order to truly heal you have to get out of your head and think with your heart. Love lives in a special place in your heart that you can only access if you are willing to be vulnerable. If you allow your mind to take the wheel then you will continue to be alone on your journey. Those bratty little voices will take over and cause you nothing but fear and worry where you will feel safe from harm. The mind will keep you stagnant, but the heart will bring you to your destination. You just have to trust it.
As I sat there watching the waves roll in, I realized that surrendering to the process is the only way to move forward. I can’t control these things in my life, and I don’t have to let them control me. All I can do is accept they are here to teach me and guide me to the place I am meant to be. I have to trust that every day I move just a little bit closer to where I’m supposed to be and faith in the path that will lead me there. You will find your path to love and fulfillment when you make that decision to get out of your head and lead with your heart.