We all go through tough times. Some more challenging than others, but none the less life always comes with a dose of reality that shows us that things are never going to be easy. Just when I find myself wallowing in self-pity or feeling like the world is somehow working against me, I hear a story that shows me that I need to shut the hell up and be grateful for what I have. A story of a mother losing her child to suicide, a story of a young man becoming a paraplegic from a car accident, a story of a family losing everything they own in the floods in Houston or a close friend losing a loved one. That is when I put it all into perspective. Seriously, the challenges I’m faced with are nothing compared to tragedies others are facing and I need to be grateful that my struggles are minuet in comparison. My children are healthy and safe, I have a loving family that supports me and amazing friends who make me laugh…what do I have to be upset about? Yes, I have financial stress that makes me feel hopeless at times, but in the grand scheme of things…I don’t have it so bad.
When times get tough we need take a step back and take a long look at ourselves. Do I really have anything to cry about because I can’t find a decent man? Is the world going to end because I’m losing a house that I can’t wait to get rid of? Girl please! Get a grip. You sound like a real asshole when you’re boo hooing over something so trivial. Something that I can fix. Something that isn’t affecting the ones I love. Yes, your heart was broken and your family was torn apart, but they will mend. You can heal from divorce and the scars will fade, but death and tragedy leave lifelong wounds that never fully close.
Put everything in perspective and find gratitude for all your blessings. Get off that pity pot and get to work on loving your life and enjoying all the joy that it brings. Self-pity isn’t a good look and you’ll never attract positive things in your life if you’re too busy feeling sorry for yourself and holding on to the past. I’m not saying that divorce isn’t a difficult; it’s taken me years to process the pain and disappointment, but what I’ve learn from all of this is that you have to feel those feelings and then let them go. Holding on to the pain will only keep you tied to the past and like a rope tied to your ankle…you can only move forward as far as the rope will let you. Reach down and untether the rope once and for all. Move forward with your life and look at the past with gratitude. Be thankful for the lessons the past has taught you. Those lessons will bring you closer to what you truly deserve.
On those days when you’re feeling down, take a second look at your life and list all the things you’re grateful for. Wake up each morning with the intention to rebuild your life and become a better person. This is your opportunity to grow and learn from your mistakes; never to repeat the same ones again. Ask yourself what you love about yourself and what are some things you could do to be better. Give back to others in need instead of living in the pit of victimization. You will grow…you will love again. Be patient instead of desperate. Know that life only brings you difficult circumstances to help you grow stronger and more resilient. Not to break you and make you weak. I am stronger and I am truly grateful for my strength and resilience. I’m grateful to have an opportunity to find my true self and not the one I molded myself into to please everyone else. Find that for yourself and dare to be who you are meant to become.