As you know, I recently decided that it was time to get out there again and start dating and since I never meet anyone worth talking to when I’m out with friends, I thought the only alternative these days is online dating. I thought eHarmony would be the best choice to find quality men that aren’t just trolling for sex. Well, this is true if you only want to date fat, old, accountants named Herb. So, I took the next logical step and joined Tinder. Now, I know what you’re thinking…Tinder? Really? Isn’t that a “hook up site”? It turns out it’s not! Well, it can be, but the majority of guys on there are looking for more than just a hook up. If fact, I have been on it for just over week and I have not had anyone send me inappropriate messages asking if I’m DTF. (If you don’t know what that is, like me, look it up on Urban Dictionary. 😉
I find the whole online dating thing FASCINATING! The psychologist in me loves to analyze it like a social experiment. It is also very addicting. It’s like candy crush on crack except with men! I could swipe left for hours, lol! I’ve been on three dates in one week. First I met “The Brit.” (I won’t use real names to preserve their identity). He looked very handsome on his profile, had a British accent and we messaged for about a week and then set up a date in Northampton. Online, he was so witty and I began to feel like we had a strong connection. In person….not so much. Funny how chemistry works. I was so attracted to him when we were messaging each other, but as soon as I met him in person, the chemistry was gone. He was cute, but not as handsome as his pictures because he never smiled…now I see why…his teeth were JACKED UP! He was also pretty short and too skinny for me. I know I shouldn’t have been so superficial, so I honestly gave it a chance. We did have good conversation, but as I mentioned in my previous post, his energy was more like Eeyore than I expected. (A person’s energy is really important.) He also brought up a lot of problems from his past, that were BIG red flags to me. For example, he said his ex-wife was “kind of abusive.” Huh? Really dude? If you know me at all, you know that I have no tolerance for weak men or women for that matter. The last nail in the coffin was when he went to kiss me goodnight–he was all over me! He went to kiss my neck and he put his hand around my throat. I quickly said goodnight and got the hell out of NoHo! The next day, I knew I had to cut him loose, so I was honest and told him I was turned off by how aggressive he was. He proceeded to tell me he likes it rough. OMG! Bye Felicia!
My next date was with a tall handsome guy I’ll call “Mr. Wishy Washy”. We met during the day because he was on vacation and we went to Dave and Busters. Strike one in my book. That place is my least favorite place to go…especially on a date. If I want to act like a ten-year-old and play games, I’ll go with my kids and have fun with them. The worst part was, we didn’t even play any games, he just sat there like a bump on a log acting all nervous. I don’t like cocky, arrogant guys, but I do need a man with confidence. He ain’t it! We had something to eat and then he wanted to go somewhere else. I played along and asked him where he wanted to go. “Umm, err, I dunno….where do you want to go?” This went on for a good thirty minutes, trying to figure out where to go. It was SO annoying! Just make a decision dude!!!! I finally suggested bowling because he doesn’t drink, didn’t want to go to a movie, didn’t want to go to the park and was too cheap to do anything else. Striiiikkke TWO! I can’t stand cheap guys, who let me pay half the bill. Well, the bowling place was closed, so we ended sitting out on a patio, because I needed a glass of wine at this point. Of course he ordered soda :/ He was a very nice guy but talking to him was like watching paint dry. No Bueno.
The last date was with “Coach”. He’s a little older and a college football coach. It was the shortest date in the history of all dates. We ordered one drink, his was an ice tea, we talked a little, joked around a little about how he’s scared he’s going to end up in my book and then it was over. He said he was really tired from a long day and that he needed to get home. Okay…fine…maybe he’s not into me, I thought. So he walks me to my car, gives me a little kiss and a hug and says he’s looking forward to seeing me again. Huh? Okay, sure…I guess. Then he proceeds to call me on the way home to tell me again that it was so nice to meet me and he’s looking forward to spending more time with me. At this point I’m just scratching my head thinking–you just had the opportunity to spend more time with me…I’m so confused. I will never understand men. They’re all weird! That said, I may give Mr. Wishy Washy and Coach another chance, but until then I have three other guys I’m lining up dates with this week. If nothing else, this is good for my diminished ego. Who knew I could speed date on Tinder and enjoy this awesome social experiment for my book?! I may even find one normal guy and actually fall in love! Imagine that?!!
Next week, I will share more adventures on my cyber dating adventure and share some tips I’ve learned on the “Do’s and Don’ts” of online dating. 😉 Until then…happy hunting!