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    Writing Your Own Narrative

    It occurred to me recently that two people in the same relationship can have very different perspectives on just about everything. We all know that women and men think differently and don’t perceive the same occurrences through the same lens, but it goes beyond that really. Every time we argue with someone it’s because we want the other person to see things the same way we do. We are right and they are wrong. We often go outside of the relationship to a third party to get validation that indeed we are right, because that third party is only hearing our perspective. Would they feel that way if they heard…

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    Get Out of Your Head

    I just got back from my annual girls trip and as I’m relaxing on a beautiful beach looking out at the waves lapping onto the shore, I noticed that instead of taking in the moment and appreciating the fact that I’m finally on the vacation I’ve been looking forward to for months, I’m in my head worrying about all the crap that I left back at home. The checklist of all the things that cause me  stress and worry came with me in my suitcase full of sundresses and suntan lotion. Those little voices in my head just took over and the chatter consumed my thoughts… “What are you going…

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    Bent Not Broken

    I recently celebrated my 45 birthday. Damn… is that hard to say. Getting older is even more daunting when you’re single because you are way past your prime and well on your way to being an AARP member. I’m not one to get depressed on their birthday, but I do get a bit reflective. I reflect on the past several years and wonder how the hell I got here. If you asked me on my 40th birthday where I would be in five years, the answer would have been very different. I was just finalizing my divorce and although it was scary, I had hope and excitement planned for my…

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    How To Spot the Red Flags

    After being on the dating scene for over five years, I’ve definitely learned a thing or two about how to spot the ‘red flags’ a mile away.  I’d like to say that I am pretty good at seeing through a person’s bullshit in the early stages of dating and was able to see the writing on the wall before I got in too deep. I always listened to my gut and let my instincts tell me whether this person was good for me or not. Now looking back, I realize that I was protecting myself from being hurt again, so I was dissecting every possible flaw they had as a…

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    Are You Feeling Stuck?

    One thing I’m never going to do is candy coat the fact that divorce sucks. I’m also never going to lie to you and tell you that after you do xyz and have given yourself a couple years to work through it, you will magically feel back to normal.  The truth is you will never feel ‘normal’ again. Life as you know it will never be the same again and that is exactly what you have to accept. Quite truthfully that is the hardest part and the reason why some people stay stuck. Trust me, I’m speaking from experience, just when you think you’re over it…something happens to smack you…

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    What Not To Do On a First Date

    I’m gearing up for the dating season and what better way than to reflect back on some of my own ‘first date’ disasters and use them as a guideline for what NOT to do while giving solid advice on how to have a successful first date.  I was actually inspired by a new show produced by Ellen DeGeneres, appropriately called “First Dates”.  I absolutely love this show! Not only because I can totally relate to the struggle of going on a first date, but also because I love to be a voyeur into other people’s dating experiences.  The first show is a must see…it made me laugh, cringe and sob…

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    Love Is In The Air

    Ahhh…Spring is finally here. The warm air and the flowers blooming makes us feel alive and gets us in the mood for love. Why is spring so intoxicating? Maybe it’s the birds singing, the bee’s buzzing and the sun shining. Maybe it’s just the feeling of happiness we all get when winter breaks and we are done hibernating from the cold. Whatever the reason is…love is in the air. Every year around this time I’m ready to shed the winter flub and get out there and date again. Yep, I get suckered in just like the rest of them thinking that this is a good time to find love. The…

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    How to Let Go of Your Ex

    I’ve often asked myself if we can ever fully let go of the person we once loved. The honest answer is no…I don’t think you can. This may shock you or put you in a deep depression, but it’s the truth. To some degree we will always hold feelings for our ex’s no matter how hard we try or no matter how much time has passed. You can be happy in a new relationship with the love of your life, but you will always feel that slight sense of attachment to them especially if you have children together. It’s impossible not to! The good news is that having that awareness…

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    Let’s Get Real

    Did you ever ask yourself why getting a divorce or going through a break-up is so damn hard? What about when you talk to married couples about how happy they are and you get a lot of eye rolling and they usually let out a big sigh and tell you that “marriage is hard and it’s a lot of work.”  Doesn’t that make you pause for a minute and make you realize that both being single and being married are equally as difficult at times and come with their own challenges? What if I told you that the difficulty that comes from divorce or your marriage is simply a matter…

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    Top 10 Benefits of Being Single

    We tend to focus on all the negatives of being single because our brains are hard wired to “need” social connections as much as we need food, water and shelter. In fact, many studies including one by UCLA professor Matthew Lieberman state that, “Being connected is our brain’s lifelong passion…it’s been baked into our operating system for tens of millions of years.”  It’s no wonder why we long for human connection and the need to be in romantic (or sexual) relationships; it’s a part of our evolution and instinctual desire to procreate and expand life on our planet.  How the hell are we supposed to fight the very essence of…