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    Keepin’ It Real

    In just a few short days we will be celebrating Valentine’s Day (insert eye roll). For those of us without a significant other, we like to refer to it as “Singles Awareness Day”. A day where we become acutely aware that we are not in a loving relationship. Well, this year I want you to reverse that belief and gain a new perspective. This year, I want you to do something for yourself and be your own damn Valentine. Do something special for yourself; whether that’s booking a massage or ordering your favorite meal and have a candlelit dinner for yourself. Draw a bath with your favorite lavender oils and…

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    Forgiveness

    Forgiveness is probably one of the hardest things to accomplish after a relationship has ended and yet, it is the only way to truly get through the process of healing. Forgiving the person that hurt you so deeply can feel like we’re handing out a free pass to redemption for their wretched soul. Quite truthfully, we want to hold on to the pain and hurt they may have caused as a way to prove how horrible they are as a person because it makes us feel justified and right. It allows us to be the “good guy” and demonizes their flawed character. It also allows us to play the role of the…

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    Pushing Love Away

    Over the past several years I’ve dated a few really good guys that (at the time) I thought weren’t quite right for me. In hindsight, I realize that they probably weren’t so bad and perhaps I didn’t give them a fair chance. I picked apart every aspect that didn’t fit my endless list of criteria and if one little thing reminded me of my ex…I ran for the hills. Perhaps I was just afraid. Perhaps I was pushing love away because I was scared. Scared of being vulnerable. Scared of being hurt. Scared of love. Imagine that—being scared of the one thing in life that makes life worth living. Looking…

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    Finding a New Perspective in the New Year

    If you’re like me you’re probably glad the holidays are coming to an end and you survived another year of accepting your redefined life after divorce. You’re also hopeful for what the new year can bring, but you are SO sick of the cliché saying “New Year New You” clogging up your social media and the harsh reality that another year went by, but not much has changed. This year I vowed to stop making empty new year’s resolutions and make a conscious effort to make real changes in my life and not rely on wishful thinking.  Sure, it starts with wishful thinking and a positive attitude, but you have…

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    My Christmas Wish

    I made a vow to myself that 2018 will be the year of positive change. Out with the old negative thoughts and beliefs and in with a renewed view of life. With every new year I have said this and waited for the change that never came. The truth is, I took a passive approach sitting in the passenger’s seat waiting for the universe to magically give me the life think I deserve. It’s time I sit in the driver’s seat and instead of waiting for positive change to happen– I’m going to make that positive change happen. Since my divorce I’ve been through a complete transformation. I found the…

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    Moving On

    The holidays can be a difficult time after a divorce. The hardest part is letting go of family traditions and trying your best to create new ones. It can be a vulnerable time and emotions can surface that you thought you were over. We start to feel like we’ll never get over this and wish things could go back to the way they were (even if things weren’t so great when we were with them). Often we know that the relationship has ended long before we’re willing to admit it and we hold on by a thread hoping things will turn around. In most cases there is one person in…

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    All The Single Ladies

    I often wonder what differentiates the people who find love soon after a divorce and those of us that find ourselves rolling our eyes every time we hear that stupid song, “All the Single Ladies” at a party when everyone turns to us expecting our hands to go up like it’s our f**king national anthem. Don’t get me wrong I love me some Beyoncé, but I hate that damn song. Let’s face it…no one likes being single all the time. Even the self-proclaimed bachelor gets lonely on a Friday night or wants to cuddle on a Sunday morning. They’re just too selfish to want to put in the work to…

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    Dating Depression

    If you ask any single person (young or old) how they feel about dating, you’re most likely going to get an immediate eye roll and a response saying something to the effect of “dating sucks”. I remember just before my marriage was ending, I would hear friends talk about how awful the dating world is and I would think to myself…how bad can it be? I used to think it would be so exciting to meet new people and feel those butterflies again–until I had to actually experience it for myself. The truth of the matter is, that if you’re in a miserable marriage then anything is better than being…

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    Relationship Goals

    When you’re single you tend to fantasize about your ideal relationship. You look back at your past relationship and remember how it fell short. You think about all the times they didn’t meet your expectations and just how incompatible you really were. You may have found yourself pretending to like things they liked just to please them. You realize that you may have been bored or felt completely disconnected from the person you slept next to every night. Fast forward years after your relationship ended and you vow to never feel that you are alone in your relationship ever again. This time around you want to find “the one”. The…

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    Finding Gratitude

    We all go through tough times. Some more challenging than others, but none the less life always comes with a dose of reality that shows us that things are never going to be easy. Just when I find myself wallowing in self-pity or feeling like the world is somehow working against me, I hear a story that shows me that I need to shut the hell up and be grateful for what I have. A story of a mother losing her child to suicide, a story of a young man becoming a paraplegic from a car accident, a story of a family losing everything they own in the floods in…