I made a vow to myself that 2018 will be the year of positive change. Out with the old negative thoughts and beliefs and in with a renewed view of life. With every new year I have said this and waited for the change that never came. The truth is, I took a passive approach sitting in the passenger’s seat waiting for the universe to magically give me the life think I deserve. It’s time I sit in the driver’s seat and instead of waiting for positive change to happen– I’m going to make that positive change happen.
Since my divorce I’ve been through a complete transformation. I found the different parts of me that were hiding behind the title of mother and wife. I was lost. I was the shell of an image that I thought everyone wanted me to be. I began to find myself as I explored my new found freedom living for the weekends with friends reliving my 20’s that I never had. I thought at the time that life was good and I was happy being single and free to make my own choices. I thought I was finding out who I was. I was wrong. In early 2015 a bomb was dropped in the middle of my fun filled life when I lost my job. Suddenly, I was forced to wake up and re-evaluate my life. There I was a single mom with no one to lean on and no one in my life that could help me pick up the pieces to rebuild my shattered sense of self. I was still lost.
Once thought of as a success in my work and a strong mother– was now a harsh realization that I had failed once again. The pain and despair I felt was paralyzing and fear filled every fiber of my being. I knew I had to be strong for my children, but inside I was falling apart. I was putting on a fake smile and trying desperately to rebuild my life, but the hits just kept coming as I struggled to make ends meet. I had to surrender my control and realized that the universe has a different plan for me. I don’t know what that plan is, but I have to trust that the outcome will be greater than my imagination can devise.
My fear has kept me small and alone. I realize now that I am bigger than what I am today and I need to step out of my comfort zone and live the life I am supposed to be living. Not the shell of a woman not fully imagined. I can’t wait for destiny to make that happen; I have to make it happen. Me…and only me.
Which brings me to my Christmas wish…
My only wish is that God gives me the strength and clarity to move beyond my fears and unveil the life that I have been scared to live. Let the new year bring me renewed hope in what my future holds and manifest the love and success that I know I can have. Shine the light on the path that brings me closer to the life that I desire and the hunger to persevere through my journey. That is my wish…
The difference between this year and the years past is that I am going to move beyond hoping and make these things happen. I’m not going to sit back and wish for it…I’m going to make real changes in order to ensure they happen. If you sit back and wallow in self-pity holding on to the past, you will miss out on what the future has in store for you. The saying, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results” are words to live by. You have to make changes in order to get the desired outcome. Stop fooling yourself and living in the past. What better time to make that change?
I’ve written a list of things I’m going to change in order to get closer to the outcome I want. You can do the same. The first step is to be clear about what want and what steps you’re going to take to make them happen. Don’t share them with anyone. Sometimes you can set yourself up for failure if you announce them to people in your life who often don’t want you to grown and change. The world is full of people who judge you, so try not to judge your own progress. If you slip and fall…that’s okay. Accept the misstep and get a deeper understanding of why you stumbled instead of beating yourself up for it. Get back up and try again. The second step is something I’ve already eluded to…re-evaluate the people in your life that may be holding you back from achieving your goals. You may not need to cut them out completely, but you may need to create some distance in order for you to stay focused on your goals. If you find people are toxic and keep you stuck in negative patterns, then it’s time to let them go. The third step is very important and will keep you on the right track—you have to celebrate the little successes and realize that real change takes time and hard work. Perseverance is the key and you can’t give up just because you’re not seeing the results right away. If you stay focused they will come. This is my wish for you.
It’s time for change and the time is now. No matter what it is that you’re struggling with, you’re in control of your destiny. Bad things happen to all of us but they don’t have to cripple you.