Ahhh…Spring is finally here. The warm air and the flowers blooming makes us feel alive and gets us in the mood for love. Why is spring so intoxicating? Maybe it’s the birds singing, the bee’s buzzing and the sun shining. Maybe it’s just the feeling of happiness we all get when winter breaks and we are done hibernating from the cold. Whatever the reason is…love is in the air. Every year around this time I’m ready to shed the winter flub and get out there and date again. Yep, I get suckered in just like the rest of them thinking that this is a good time to find love. The million-dollar question is where does one find Mr. Right?
I’ve done it all. I’ve been set up with friends of friends—no luck. I’ve been on most of the dating sites and if you’ve read my blog, you know how well that went–complete disaster. I go out with friends all the time and never meet anyone decent out there–ever!
In fact, just last weekend I got hit on by a guy that was probably a foot shorter than me and his opening line was, “Hey, we’re gonna do shots.” So romantic, huh? I just looked down and said, “No we’re not.” He then asked if I had something against short guys. I’ll give him this, he was a funny guy, but humor only goes so far. He cracked a few jokes and we started to banter back and forth. He said he loves tall girls and he always looks for the tallest girl with blonde hair and a nice ass when he walks into a bar. My jaw dropped and I knew he was just trying to get a rise out of me, but I felt compelled to give him a little word of advice. I gave him the evil eye and told him if you’re going to try to talk to women you might not want to talk about their ass and focus on their eyes or their intellect. He replied by saying, “Oh, maybe that’s why the tall blonde I was just talking to walked away.” I just rolled my eyes started laughing and said, “You’re a real charmer aren’t you shawty?” We joked for a while because I love a sarcastic sense of humor, but even if this guy was a decent human being, I just can’t get past the height thing either. I know it’s superficial, but I’m a tall woman and I just hate towering over a guy. My ex was too short for me and this time around I just want a big tall guy that doesn’t make me feel like I’m an amazon woman. Is that too much to ask? Is there a dating site for tall people? I would totally try it…
Sorry my ADD is kicking in again…let me get back to the subject. The thing about finding love is that your heart must be fully open and that’s when it will come to you. As I’ve said before, if you are still holding on to resentment for your ex or fear of being vulnerable, Mr. Right will walk right past you. That’s how the universe works. Another ‘fact of life’ when it comes to the birds and the bees, is if you haven’t worked through the pain, you will end up falling for another jerk at the bar trying to buy you shots to get you in bed. That’s not love…that’s just sex and you need to be able to distinguish between the two. Now that I’ve done the work and let go of the past, I want the real deal and I’ve been waiting patiently for quite some time now. The key is that I don’t mind the waiting. I can wait for as long as it takes for the right one.
I’ll wait for the person that gives me the kind of love I’ve always wanted and the kind of love I’ve always wanted to give. The truth of the matter is my ex was a very hard person to love. He had so many deep childhood wounds that made him feel he wasn’t worthy of love. Once we got a little too close, he would do something to sabotage it. He held on to his fear and pushed me away every time. This time, I want to find someone who isn’t desperate for love, but someone who is open to giving his heart to me and only me. My soulmate (yes, I believe in soulmates). He could be anywhere right now, but we will find each other when the time is right. It might be at a grocery store, online, at work or at a random party, but we will find each other. I always ask people in love how they met and it is always the most unexpected place because you don’t find love, it finds you. You just have to ask yourself honestly if you are ready. If there is any hesitation or fear it will pass you by and wait until you’re truly ready.
So, when you’re alone crying into your glass of wine asking why you haven’t found love, look no further than your beliefs about yourself, your beliefs about your ex, and your beliefs about love. That will give you the honest answer. Until you are ready to do the work and change your perspective just enjoy the journey. Don’t look at it as serving a life sentence in solitary confinement, look at it as a time of discovery into your hopes and dreams for the future. This is not the end of your story, this is a new chapter to an exciting new adventure and you’re the lead character. Do you want your story to end in tragedy or do you want to write the greatest love story of all times? You’re the author of your own story and you can create the happy ending you’ve always wanted. You’re more than this broken soul who plays the victim and feels unloved. You’re the leading lady and you and only you can create the life you desire. Start writing your happy ending and enjoy the beautiful spring weather.
With Faith, Hope and Love,