You think you’re ready for love but…are you? Have you asked yourself some key questions that will allow you to be in a healthy relationship? This will determine whether you are truly ready to attract the person that will give you the love you want and deserve. I am a firm believer that you attract exactly what you thinkyou deserve.
If you have struggled with trust and honesty in your past relationships, then something deep inside of you is attracting that quality in the people that come into your life. I know this because that is what I’ve attracted since my divorce. When I’ve met men that were really genuinely good guys, I found flaws in them in order to push them away. My first relationship after my divorce was with a guy who was a really sweet and very much in touch with his emotions. I found it to be refreshing at first, but because I wasn’t truly healed from my dysfunctional marriage, I picked apart everything he did and said until I pushed him away. I wasn’t ready to trust in anyone and didn’t work through my own demons that were preventing me from finding love.
I have spent the last few years dating guys that didn’t last beyond the first few dates because I knew they weren’t what I was looking for. I recognized the red flags when I was attracted to guys that were players and not worthy of my trust. I couldn’t understand why I kept attracting dirt bags! Until I realized that I was the one attracting them. The fact that I wasn’t ready to open up my heart to anyone was the same reason why the cockroaches were coming out of the woodwork. I could only blame myself. It was familiar to me…like an old shoe. I knew what to expect from these guys and it is what I allowed in my marriage. Lies, deceit, and mistrust. I had to dig deep and recognize that I was blocking any one good from coming into my life because I was scared to trust anyone.
In the past year, I have been doing a lot of reflecting and being really clear about what I want in a partner. I’ve stopped dating completely, hoping that I can uncover why I am attracting the wrong type of guys. Not only did I do write down the qualities I desire in a partner, but I have surrendered to the possibility of being hurt again. I realized that the guard I have put up was the only reason I wasn’t finding love. I also had to be honest about all the negative and limiting thoughts I had about men and relationships. Such as…
“All the good ones are taken.”
“All men are jerks.”
“I’m too fat.”
“They’re not good enough.”
“I never meet anyone that’s decent.”
Sound familiar?? We all do it and that is exactly why we can’t find anyone…because of our beliefs. Plain and simple. Change your beliefs and you will find exactly what you really want. If you keep saying these things…that’s EXACTLY what you get!!
Trust me, it still won’t happen overnight. It takes a long time to reverse our beliefs, but if you (1) let go of your pain and be willing to surrender to love (2) be honest about what you need to work through (3) write down the qualities you are looking for in a partner (4) change your negative thoughts and beliefs (5) BELIEVE you will attract the love you deserve…then everything will change. You will find the love you want and desire, but you have to be emotionally healthy in order for you to attract it. You are in charge of your own destiny…you are the author of your own story. Now that you know this…. go make it a good one 😉