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    Finding Gratitude

    We all go through tough times. Some more challenging than others, but none the less life always comes with a dose of reality that shows us that things are never going to be easy. Just when I find myself wallowing in self-pity or feeling like the world is somehow working against me, I hear a story that shows me that I need to shut the hell up and be grateful for what I have. A story of a mother losing her child to suicide, a story of a young man becoming a paraplegic from a car accident, a story of a family losing everything they own in the floods in…

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    Breaking the Chains that Bind You

    As I sit here feeling alone and longing for my next chapter to begin, I wonder how I break those chains that bind me to my past. Those chains that keep me fastened to the pain that I thought I had overcome. The pain of heartbreak and disappointment. The pain of wondering if my future holds the love that I’ve always longed for…or is this is it for me? Will I find the love that I’ve always deserved or is the past going to haunt me forever? Will the past be the one thing that keeps me from my future? As I look at the house that we built together…

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    Learning to Love Again

    Over the years I’ve had the privilege of meeting people that share their joy, their pain and their insight with me. I’m not big on superficial, empty conversation…I like to get to the core of a person and see them for who they really are and I want them to see me. Through all these conversations, I’ve learned that as humans we share one very important connection. Love and pain. One person’s pain may be greater than another, but never the less pain always exists. The truth of the matter is we would never experience pain if we didn’t experience love first. The pain comes from the loss of love…

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    Summer Lovin’

    Ahhh… summer. It’s the time for relaxation, fun in the sun and a good summer romance. I think I watched the movie Grease too many times as a kid, because every summer I think I’m Sandra D about to fall in love with Danny Zuko and make out on the beach.  I just returned from our annual girl’s weekend in Portland, Maine and had the best time. Had a little too much fun perhaps, but as summer comes to an end I want to enjoy every minute of it. While I was there, something unexpected happened… I met someone and dare I say he has all the qualities I’m looking…

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    Writing Your Own Narrative

    It occurred to me recently that two people in the same relationship can have very different perspectives on just about everything. We all know that women and men think differently and don’t perceive the same occurrences through the same lens, but it goes beyond that really. Every time we argue with someone it’s because we want the other person to see things the same way we do. We are right and they are wrong. We often go outside of the relationship to a third party to get validation that indeed we are right, because that third party is only hearing our perspective. Would they feel that way if they heard…

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    Get Out of Your Head

    I just got back from my annual girls trip and as I’m relaxing on a beautiful beach looking out at the waves lapping onto the shore, I noticed that instead of taking in the moment and appreciating the fact that I’m finally on the vacation I’ve been looking forward to for months, I’m in my head worrying about all the crap that I left back at home. The checklist of all the things that cause me  stress and worry came with me in my suitcase full of sundresses and suntan lotion. Those little voices in my head just took over and the chatter consumed my thoughts… “What are you going…

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    Bent Not Broken

    I recently celebrated my 45 birthday. Damn… is that hard to say. Getting older is even more daunting when you’re single because you are way past your prime and well on your way to being an AARP member. I’m not one to get depressed on their birthday, but I do get a bit reflective. I reflect on the past several years and wonder how the hell I got here. If you asked me on my 40th birthday where I would be in five years, the answer would have been very different. I was just finalizing my divorce and although it was scary, I had hope and excitement planned for my…

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    How To Spot the Red Flags

    After being on the dating scene for over five years, I’ve definitely learned a thing or two about how to spot the ‘red flags’ a mile away.  I’d like to say that I am pretty good at seeing through a person’s bullshit in the early stages of dating and was able to see the writing on the wall before I got in too deep. I always listened to my gut and let my instincts tell me whether this person was good for me or not. Now looking back, I realize that I was protecting myself from being hurt again, so I was dissecting every possible flaw they had as a…

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    Are You Feeling Stuck?

    One thing I’m never going to do is candy coat the fact that divorce sucks. I’m also never going to lie to you and tell you that after you do xyz and have given yourself a couple years to work through it, you will magically feel back to normal.  The truth is you will never feel ‘normal’ again. Life as you know it will never be the same again and that is exactly what you have to accept. Quite truthfully that is the hardest part and the reason why some people stay stuck. Trust me, I’m speaking from experience, just when you think you’re over it…something happens to smack you…

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    What Not To Do On a First Date

    I’m gearing up for the dating season and what better way than to reflect back on some of my own ‘first date’ disasters and use them as a guideline for what NOT to do while giving solid advice on how to have a successful first date.  I was actually inspired by a new show produced by Ellen DeGeneres, appropriately called “First Dates”.  I absolutely love this show! Not only because I can totally relate to the struggle of going on a first date, but also because I love to be a voyeur into other people’s dating experiences.  The first show is a must see…it made me laugh, cringe and sob…