Every woman wants to raise her daughter to be the best she can be and better than we see ourselves. For some, they want their daughters to be kind, generous and compassionate and for others they want their daughters to be strong, independent and bold. They are reflections of what we wish we could be and a reminder of where we may have fell short. Everything we believe about ourselves, they will believe about themselves. Your words are powerful enough to shape their view of themselves, but the actions that you model are beliefs they will carry in their souls. Be mindful of that mothers, especially in your relationship with their fathers because that will be their teacher for life.
I wanted to take this time to write a letter to my only daughter, a relationship I hold so dear to my heart. I want her to be kinder and more loving to herself than I was to myself. I want her to know the depths of my love and pride for the woman she has become and will continue to become.
To my daughter:
The day you were born changed my life forever. My first-born child when I was still a young woman with no sense of who I was. You gave me that clarity because now I knew my life was bigger than my own, my life had instantly changed when I held you in my arms; I had purpose. My purpose was to love and nurture you with everything I had because I had never experienced a love like this before. A love that was unwavering, indescribable and incredibly frightening. I feared I would make every mistake and somehow damage this gift that had been given to me. I read every book I could find to help me on this terrifying journey called motherhood.
Early on I knew I was responsible for shaping your beliefs about yourself. I wanted you to know how beautiful you were, but that beauty is not only skin deep. I never wanted you to own a Barbie doll because of its false representation of what was considered beautiful, yet there you were begging me to buy you one in the toy aisle and I caved. I wanted you to know that to be beautiful came from the inside and to know that your value did not stem from your pretty eyes, your high cheek bones and the shape of your body. I wanted you to be better than me. I spent so much time feeling insecure and doubting my worth because my hips were too big or my nose was too pointy. I wanted you to be better. I wanted to pour all my strength into your soul to ensure that no man or cover model would ever define your worth. I may have not always modeled that, but I wanted you to know that a woman’s greatest strength was in how she values herself.
I wanted you to hold yourself to the highest standard possible, so that no man would ever consider you anything less than ” wifey” material. I wanted you to love yourself enough to know when someone wasn’t good enough, you would have the strength to turn and walk away. You are that woman and I’m so proud to call you my daughter. You have everything I dreamed for you. Strength, kindness, independence, compassion, and perseverance.
As you spread your wings and make this journey so far from home, my heart fills with pride more than it does the ache of missing you. I am amazed by your courage and know that you found that all on your own because I am often too intimidated to be so daring. You have everything I wanted to have for myself and more. You are my greatest gift because you have been my greatest teacher. You taught me who I am because you show me my reflection.
I can only imagine the love that will grow when you become a mother someday. Know that I will be there for you every step of the way. In good times and bad…I will always be there loving you right where you are.
The road hasn’t always been smooth and there were many times I know I made some big mistakes, but these things happened to bring us closer and to never take one another for granted. You are my life, my friend and my daughter and I love you more than you will ever know.